FLOSSI SAYS, “MEASURE TWICE, BUY ONCE”
In what might be the aviation equivalent of buying a yacht for a backyard pool, the Swiss government is learning the hard way that bigger isn’t always better. Their shiny new Bombardier Global 7500 business jet, purchased for a cool 103 million Swiss francs (about $117 million), was supposed to symbolize Swiss precision and efficiency. Instead, it has become an oversized, overpriced lesson in basic spatial awareness.
The problem? The jet is too big for Bern-Belp Airport, where Switzerland usually parks its official aircraft. Like a gold-plated SUV that won’t fit in the driveway, the Global 7500 now sits awkwardly 40 kilometers away at Payerne Air Base, the closest facility that can accommodate it. Officials, presumably adjusting their ties and avoiding eye contact, have admitted that the aircraft won’t be able to move to Bern until a new hangar is built—a project at least two years away.
But wait, it gets better. Even if the Global 7500 did fit in Bern, it still couldn’t take off with a full tank. The runway is too short for the aircraft to reach takeoff speed when fully fueled. This means that whenever Swiss officials need to jet off on a long-haul diplomatic mission, they must first take a short-haul flight or a scenic train ride to Zurich or Geneva, where they can actually board the aircraft. Yes, that’s right: their private jet needs a connecting flight.
As if things weren’t already veering into government sitcom territory, a recent trip to South America exposed yet another glaring oversight. When a Swiss delegation needed to reach La Paz, Bolivia, they discovered—rather inconveniently—that their multi-million-dollar aircraft wasn’t certified for high-altitude airports. The solution? The officials had to switch to a regular commercial flight, rubbing elbows with economy-class passengers, a scenario that likely wasn’t in the original sales brochure.
The new jet replaces the much smaller, more sensible Cessna Citation Excel, which served Switzerland faithfully for two decades. While the Citation lacked its successor's prestige, range, and price tag, it did have one slight advantage: it actually fit in the hangar and could take off from Bern.
For now, the Swiss government will continue using its Dassault Falcon 900 and two Bombardier Challenger 604s for official travel. At the same time, the Global 7500 sits in airplane purgatory, awaiting both certification and the installation of its self-protection system (though, frankly, the biggest threat to this aircraft so far has been poor planning).
Despite its current Goldilocks-level "too big for the house" dilemma, the Bombardier Global 7500 is undeniably an impressive piece of machinery. Stretching 33.8 meters long with a 31.7-meter wingspan, it’s designed as the flagship of ultra-long-range private jets. The four-zone cabin accommodates up to 19 passengers in ultimate luxury, with perks including a full-sized kitchen, a dedicated crew rest area, and—presumably—a tape measure never used before this purchase. Capable of reaching speeds of Mach 0.925 and cruising at 51,000 feet, the Global 7500 is an engineering marvel that—ironically—still hasn’t managed to take off properly in Switzerland.
